I spent my Easter weekend sitting in a cabin the the Canadian Rockies in British Columbia, on a co-created ‘retreat’ style weekend. The point of this weekend away (far away for me, as I’m typically based out of Brisbane) was to spend some quality time with a close girlfriend, Terri, while also delving into some ‘life stuff’. We had wine, we had mini-eggs, we had a book to prompt the conversations and most importantly, we had given ourselves permission to look into stuff.
The road to this particular cabin in the woods is not one fraught with off roading, it’s kinda just off the highway between Radium and Golden, about 3 hours out of Calgary. Our journey to get to this cabin was met with a rocky start as we had a blown tyre an hour out of the city, a spare that wasn’t much use to us and we ended up sitting on the side of the Trans Canada Highway for about 4 hours while Drew (Terri’s husband) earned an exponential amount of man points rescuing us on his first day off in a month. While sitting on the side of the highway, watching people rush past, we were contemplating what the lessons were behind being delayed by so long.
We each have our theories. Terri’s was to listen to your intuition, as she had noticed the tyre was looking a bit odd as we left the Tim Hortons with bagels in hand. Mine was that we needed to continue to be grateful in the face of challenges. Did I really want to be freezing on the side of the road, watching on coming traffic – partly to notify them that there were humans doing things on the ground, and partly to be the look out should we all have to bail into the gully if someone careened into us. A universal thank you to those who slowed down and slowed the traffic behind you, made the already quite crap situation slightly safer. To the two dudes in the Jeep with the mountain bikes on the back who raised their arms at me in what I interpreted as frustration at the building traffic (it was Good Friday heading into the mountains), I am truly sorry our misfortune delayed you. I promise it was in no way intentional and I speak for all three of us when I say we do not make a habit of pulling onto the shoulder of highways for no good reason. Should you have pulled over and offered your assistance, maybe we wouldn’t have had to hold up traffic for another 2 hours, who knows?! I hope you had a great day out though, as we certainly did once we were on the road again.
With that behind us, Terri and I took to the highway once more and between gaping in awe at the beauty of the mountain ranges, we sang. Loudly and off key. It was awesome. We were thankful to get to our cabin destination, meet our fun neighbours and settle in for a night of sharing stories and tunes around a well constructed campfire with ample beverages.
I think it’s important to understand the type of relationship Terri and I share to have perspective regarding the next part of this post. Terri and I have done a fair bit of introspection work together and our conversations may be a little strange to an outsider listening in, as our point of reference can be a little different. Terri and I picked a chapter out of a ‘life stuff’ book (typically found in the ‘self-help’ section) and read aloud, discussing what came up for us as we went through. This sounds incredibly simple, which it is. The process of allowing yourself to be vulnerable and really look at what’s not working in your life is challenging.
You can sit in the loft of your BC cabin and simply choose to not identify the doors that you’re facing. That is easier, for sure. Distractions such as mountains, wine and puppy dogs next door will keep you entertained for as long as you like. They will not assist you with the identification process of doors you want to open, nor the keys you must find to unlock the greatness behind said doors. This is not to say you cannot be great without going through this process, this is simply a method that holds myself and Terri accountable as to what and how we want to live our lives. It’s a process that can be incredibly healing, upsetting, clarifying and all the other types of emotions that arise when you stare face to face with yourself and start asking the hard questions.
After our first round of ‘life questions’ we took to a trail through a conservation area that happened to be across the road. We continued to chat about things as we meandered and I was suddenly struck with the impact that I’d found a ‘new door’ and now I was responsible for finding the key. The right key may be a challenge to find or it may present itself easily, at this point I am all lit up about knowing what this particular lock looks like.
Needless to say, after the long weekend of nothingness where we scheduled in relaxing and took to napping sporadically to the scent of cedar logs smouldering away in the wood stove, I am ready to charge forth and take on the pathway towards my next key! The part that I want to emphasize is that though we were relaxing we were shining a light on perspectives we hadn’t seen and finished that weekend with a greater understanding of what we both wanted to get out of the next twelve months. Having recently watched Dead Poets Society – we defined how we want to “suck the marrow out of life”.
Recharged and ready! Watch out world! Imma coming for you….
Happy Wandering!
Hx