It’s been a rough week this week. There have been a lot of things weighing on my mind, a sense of disconnection, and being ‘low’. Those who have met me know this is not how I operate. I run on some serious happy gas most of the time. I’m very fortunate to be programmed to see the bright side of life in 98% of instances. I also choose to. This is not a ‘positivity’ thing specifically, it’s more the choice in taking on the lesson you’re faced with and growing with it.
I have noticed recently too that if I have more than 2 drinks, ie at a BBQ, it takes a couple of days for my nervous system to pep back up again. I have to ‘wear off’ the depressive nature of alcohol from my central nervous system. This could be due to my increased attendance to yoga; it could also be due to being in my early 30’s. The diagnosis as to why it’s happening isn’t really the point, I am still having the same outcome. So >2 drinks = less than bubbly for a couple of days. That’s an equation I’d rather be ignorant to, and yet, now I cannot. Plus, it’s published on the internet – so it must be true!
There is also the ‘life’ stuff that happens and makes you feel kinda shit. He didn’t call, you’re late for important things, your parents are becoming people who need to ‘meet with the Specialist’ on a regular basis, you are continually reminded you can’t get a puppy. That’s about it really, everything else would just become whinging. These are pretty regular, run of the mill issues, they begin to feel heavy when you’re not at your best.
*I would like pause here to acknowledge that I am very thankful for the life I lead, this isn’t a laundry list of why my life sucks, it certainly does not, it’s an example of how regular things pile up and make regular people feel a bit shit.
When I feel like this, I typically see 2 options:
1. Be with people I love. Lots of them have babies currently, which means I’m instantly transported into a parallel universe where most of the things that have been concerning me instantly vanish. I’m now thankful that I can turn my alarm off at 5:15am and shower as I please.
2. Achieve things that are meaningful to me. If I can do things at work, nail a yoga pose, get up a new run at rock climbing, find a new muscle to do tricks with (see: here for the bicep edition), generally feel good about something, the fog starts to lift.
If all of the above fails, bring out the big guns: bathtub and a nap.
I typically see life as a game to play, there are friends to find and people to meet. Roles to play, emotions to be felt. For the most part, I reconcile things and see if I need to adjust my perspective, see if this new situation will give me empathy in the future, and then figure out how I can best look after myself. In the same way that it’s important to fit your own oxygen mask first when travelling on a plane, it’s important to recognise the need for self care.
Being a ‘flat’ version of myself is not the world I like to live in. Sometimes I need to pause and restock the happy gas, or figure out what’s causing the leak. When this mentality creeps in I always remind myself that tomorrow is a new day with a fresh new 24 hours to go out and create some magic.
Happy Wandering!
Hx