I had a realisation the other day. I want to be friends with my Mum.
I have spent the last 12 months fighting with my Mum about her health. As someone who has worked within the vague realm of medical appointments, being proactive and understanding the process is where I was coming from. I couldn’t quite reconcile that my Mother was the patient. The ability to explain things would come across as quite blunt, cold even. As much as I wanted to help and to a certain level, protect her, being bossy is my coping mechanism. I prefer to think of it as being ‘direct’.
I have since recruited two close friends to take over my role of ‘being direct’, so I may return to being friends with my Mum. I have a group of friends who love her for her and can offer support and advice that will be delivered in a much different manner than mine. We can hang out and enjoy each other instead.
Mum has recently turned 60, based on genetics she has another good 30 or so years to do things on this planet. This afternoon we went jumping in the waves together at the beach for the first time that I can remember in my life. Mum has always loved the beach, yet has always stayed in the shin deep water – enjoying it from the shallows. Today, I managed to coax her in with me, past the dumping waves and into the swell. We could still stand as needed, we also got to duck dive under the big ones and play. Get all salty and have our mascara run down our faces. It was awesome. I was proud! We had never played in the surf together. No one died. We all got to continue on with our lives, having faced a small fear that simply resulted in a face full of salty and sandy Pacific Ocean.
It’s good maña. It was a very direct example of ‘letting go’ of something (being the ‘proactive boss’ of my Mum) and being directly rewarded with something (the ability to play together). Mum got into the ocean and survived; I was able to be there to witness it!
I knew there was a #recklessabandon streak in her somewhere. I’m looking forward to witnessing the next 30 odd years unfold!
Happy Wandering!
Hx