The weekend past was full of adventure and uncovering new places and spaces. I am a huge fan of spontaneity and when I get asked to come play on the Australian coastline, who am I to refuse? Being based in Brisbane, accessing the coast comes with an hour or more of travel which leaves lots of room for personal refection. This driving time was full of questions, many of which I have yet to resolve.
Since returning home from Maui and running the marathon that I’ve been planning and discussing for most of 2017, it feels like I’m back at the bottom of the roller coaster. There was a peak, the thrill of the high, and now I’m back on the ground seeking out the next. My big question really is “what next?”
I’ve made a point of meditating this year, setting aside time to focus on stillness and quiet. Upon returning, I’ve been meditating on what is next for me and what that might look like. Let me tell you, ask the question and be prepared for the answer! Last night I had two seperate conversations with close girlfriends who provided me with some blunt (and loving) insights.
The key components basically centre around following up on projects I’ve started and backing myself to succeed in them. I’ve had a few ideas this past year and started setting them out, only to over analyse, get all cognitive about it, and let it go by the wayside. What a loss! They are all fun ideas, things I enjoy doing and are ultimately aimed at bringing joy to others. Why would I stop rolling on those? Fear of success, fear of failure, fear of the unknown, fear of judgement, etc etc. All the usual suspects when you step back and take a look at it properly. It’s far easier to take on a 1000 other little things and avoid the meaningful project sitting in the centre of your heart. Avoidance is not usually how I operate, which would account for why I feel disconnected and a little lost.
This predicament is of my own creation, as I ran across the finish line in Maui, heart full of joy, my inner voice said “now it’s time for yoga”. I was literally provided with a directive and have been stalling on it to my own disservice, again due to the many masquerades of fear. Ironic that I’m fearful of immersing myself in yoga after running 42.2km in 38 degree heat.
What’s next for me has been pretty clearly addressed, brought to my attention in manners that I cannot avoid nor shirk. Inner self says yoga, mind is calling for creation and completion of projects that offer information to people in a new format, body wants to hang off rocks. Seems like taking a moment to pause, ask, and be open to listening has offered up all the solutions I was looking for.
Watch this space! The fire is stoked once more!
Happy Wandering!
Hx